


Not so Cold Anymore

by DragonGem777



Category: Fire Emblem: Fuukasetsugetsu | Fire Emblem: Three Houses
Genre: Angst, Byleth x Yuri, Byluri, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Fluff, M!Byleth - Freeform, M/M, Male My Unit | Byleth, Yuri x Byleth, yurileth
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-28
Updated: 2020-03-28
Packaged: 2021-02-28 22:00:25
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,327
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23354317
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DragonGem777/pseuds/DragonGem777
Summary: Byleth's transformation left him with more than just new power - it gave him back his emotions. It's been five years - but Yuri is aware that something is different.
Relationships: Yuri Leclerc/Byleth Eisner, Yuris Leclair | Yuri Leclerc & My Unit | Byleth
Comments: 6
Kudos: 227





	Not so Cold Anymore

**Author's Note:**

> Just a personal head canon that I ran with that when Sothis merged with Byleth - she also merged the emotions that she had been blocking.

A cool breeze drifted around the light cloak that Yuri wore draped around his shoulders, eyes searching the vast space before him as he sought for a familiar figure he was certain would be around. 

He wasn’t sure why tonight was the night he chose to seek him out...why he hadn’t done so sooner, but he would be caught dead before he would admit that it was due to nerves. 

That’s what Hapi had theorized and he had scoffed at the very notion. 

Him? Nervous?

That was definitely not the reason he had waited so long to confront him. 

But he wanted to see him again - he wanted to feel his presence again - that calm, steady wave of assurance that always seemed to drift around him was something he had craved for a long time now. He had done his best to move on with the possibility that Byleth was...gone. The range of emotions he had been feeling had steadily quelled in the years without him - but the moment he learned of Byleth’s return, those emotions he thought he had so carefully tucked away came rushing back in a tidal wave. 

Alas, there had been little time to speak, however. But he was sure - tonight - for whatever reason - he would find him in the same spot the two of them had taken a liking to in the years before. 

Yuri lifted a hand to brush away a few strands of hair that fell in his face, a brief thought entertaining the possibility that the returned professor would take a liking to this length. 

He rounded the corner, the light clothing he’d donned for the night swaying gently as he came to a halt before the balcony, eyes softening as he took in the figure that was a small distance from him. 

Green hair seemed to glow softly in the moonlight, and the dark cloak that was draped carelessly around two steady shoulders moved in the light breeze. Yuri was instantly satisfied that Byleth had taken the liberty to shed the heavy armor and elegant robes he so consistently wore. And he wondered briefly if Byleth even liked those outfits. 

Shaking himself out of his thoughts, and after a hesitant step forward, Yuri felt his heart speed up as he prepared to speak.

“Hey,” 

Odd - so odd it was to see Byleth jump like that - and it was _way too_ amusing. 

A round of chuckles escaped between Yuri’s lips as he watched as the professor righted himself to turn and face the new presence. 

“Yuri -” Eyes blinked a few times in surprise, and again Yuri found himself absolutely at a loss for what he was feeling. 

Five years was a long time. 

He still wasn’t quite used to seeing him like this - he’d barely seen him after he’d returned with those startling eyes and hair - and he swore he could sense the man coming from a mile away - his presence was that...powerful. 

Purple eyes narrowed as he studied him carefully for a moment.

He was...different now.

But...how? 

“We haven’t had a chance to speak privately yet...couldn’t find you anywhere, and when I did - you’re surrounded by mobs of your worshippers.” The trickster chuckled at his own joke, a mischievous grin tilting his lips, “and a little bird told me you’ve been frequenting this balcony the last few nights.” 

The trickster sauntered up beside him, enjoying the way Byleth’s eyes unpurposefully followed every deliberate sway of his body. 

Yuri smirked again as those wandering eyes seemed to try and take the entirety of him in all at once, and the house leader chuckled as that allured gaze fell towards his hips. Yuri’s hand loosened to gesture upwards and it took all of his willpower not to laugh out loud as he swore a small tint of pink painted that pale face. Green eyes blinked a few times, as if forcing himself to look away and clearing his throat. He returned to his position before, hands resting on the railing and head bowed slightly. 

“Yes...this...is where I’ve been.” 

Yuri leaned an elbow against the railing, resting his head against his head as he looked on at the man before him. “Oh? Old habits?” 

Byleth smirked. 

_Byleth smirked._

“In a way.” Hands folded together as Byleth leaned forward a bit more, eyes downcast and brows furrowed. 

Still minimal responses. Okay, he could work with that. 

“Well - don’t worry. If you’re worried about having slept through these last five years, it’s not a big deal. Nothing really happened.”

A small pause filled the air, and Yuri had anticipated perhaps a scoff, or a lack of response entirely, but a small _laugh_ was not at all what he had expected. 

He felt his heart take a happy jump - and he turned and blinked at the smiling lips, finding his own joining him as he watched bright green eyes twinkle in mirth. 

Yeah...that was a good sound. 

“So I’ve been told,” Byleth added, sighing a bit as he leaned up, staring intently at the stars above them. “There’s so much I need to catch up on...so much I’ve missed. And every story is different. It’s hard to keep track of.” 

Yuri didn’t like the sad tone of that voice, and he found himself immediately wanting to fix it.

“I can tell you, you know. If you’ve the time.” Yuri offered, leaning forward in earnest. “You’re going to get a lot of recounts of what happened - but I have a lot of firsthand experiences. Plus, I’m unbiased, so you know I’ll only tell you the truth.” He flashed a charming smirk.

Byleth allowed another smile - so unfamiliar upon that face - and he nodded lightly. 

“I’ll take you up on that, thank you, Yuri.” A grateful twinkle of his eyes - completely unhidden behind that blankness Yuri was so accustomed to seeing.

So different...so open. 

He’d had a sense of it - just slightly when Byleth had undergone the transformation - but after that had happened the two of them barely had a time to spare each other a passing glance from the events that transpired so soon afterwards. He just wasn’t sure what had been different - aside from the hair and eyes - but something _else..._

“You’ve changed, you know.” Yuri finally voiced after a comfortable pause settled between them, a hand coming up to brush away a few loose strands that fell into his eyes as he turned to look at Byleth.

He expected Byleth to raise his head, look him at him - maybe a bit confused, then ask him _“how?”_ \- but that was not at all what happened. 

Green eyes lowered towards the ground, the straight line of his lips tilting downwards slightly in a mildly unhappy expression, and suddenly Yuri wasn’t sure he’d said something appropriate. 

“I know.” 

Yuri felt the awkwardness in the air increase, and his eyes fell towards his clasped hands on the railing as he searched for something to say. 

“...oh.” 

_That was great, Yuri._

“I don’t like it.” 

Yuri blinked rapidly at that response, far from expecting those words to follow so quickly. “You don’t like it?” 

“No.” Byleth said resolutely, eyes closing.

It was a mix of concern and confusion, and Yuri waited a moment before he internally fought for his next words. “You don’t like...this?” He gestured towards his hair, tilting his head as he tried to understand. 

Byleth’s eyebrows rose slightly, and it was almost like he couldn’t help the small chuckle that escaped from his lips. “My hair?” He questioned, after the small bout of chuckles. “Yes, I wish it was orange.”

What.

Yuri swore he felt a ringing in his ears as his jaw dropped - “I mean...- sure, but - you -....wait.” The scramble to find words came to a screeching halt as Yuri’s brows furrowed and eyes widened slightly. “Were - did -” He waved his hands in front of him as if trying to physically put his thoughts together. “Are you _joking?”_

Another laugh, and goddess Yuri was actually certain he might swoon like a helpless maiden. It was so bright. It was bright and clear and those eyes crinkled in such a way…

That. That right there. 

_“That’s_ what’s different.” The trickster stated with a confident smirk, finishing his thoughts. “You’re...feeling.” 

Yuri wasn’t entirely sure what he was trying to say but whatever he was trying to piece together in his head was slowly coming together as he thought more about it. 

That didn’t seem to be the right thing to say, though. Byleth’s smile slowly fell from his face as he turned slightly, eyes catching the starlight that twinkled around them. A sigh followed as the professor leaned heavily against the railing, nodding towards the ground as if a silent affirmation to himself that he’d been seen through. 

“...I know.” 

Yuri moved a bit closer, brows furrowing slightly. “...you’re not pleased about it.” 

“No.” 

Suddenly, Yuri felt his heart drop, and he, in that moment, wished that he _understood._ He wished he could help. He felt as though the loss and confusion in those green eyes was far too genuine, and it made his heart hurt not being able to understand why. 

Yuri took a breath, nodding to himself before he began, “I’m not going to pretend to understand everything that’s happened to you, friend.” The house leader started carefully, “but...you know that whatever you say will stay between us and us alone.” 

A small silence drifted, and lavender eyes watched carefully as Byleth struggled for a way to respond, but he waited patiently, blinking softly at the scrunched expression before him. 

Finally, a sigh, and the professor bowed his head before he began. “I feel like...like I don’t have control over anything I do anymore. Sometimes even what I say...” His voice was so small, uncertain, but Yuri retained a steady gaze, waiting patiently for him to continue. “I’ve never, in my life, had to deal with...with this.” It was probably subconscious as Byleth’s hand rose to place over his chest - his heart - and Yuri closely followed the movement. “And I...don’t like it.”

The words were spilling out before Yuri knew what was happening, and his eyes widened a bit as the swordsman continued on. “My father was invincible. When he passed on...even at the time...because of...her - I was able to move on. Quickly. But I know I was supposed to feel - to feel something. To me, without that feeling, that was a blessing - logically it helped. But now I - everything I do - even what people say - I don’t have control of what happens. I feel like I want to say nothing and say everything - I’ve - I’ve even wanted to _hurt_ someone. For what they _said.”_ Helpless green eyes turned towards him, and Yuri found himself locked beneath the intensity - the _innocence_ of the look. “And if I lead - I lead and I make one mistake and someone gets hurt because of that -” Hands clenched tightly together and a small tremble, barely noticeable, traveled up those arms. “- I’m _afraid…”_

Byleth’s eyes flew downwards as a pale hand covered his. Deep violet eyes mellowed in the soft starlight, and a small, understanding smile graced his lips. 

“I understand.” 

Oh. Yuri understood now. Now he knew what happened. It wasn’t natural - Byleth’s blank gaze - monotonous tone - it’s not like he was choosing not to feel or react - but that he _couldn’t._ That power. That divine power that he now harnessed entirely - had caged him.

Until now. 

Yuri’s voice was soft, quiet, and he moved closer just a bit so that they were merely a foot away. His eyes fell, taking a deep breath before he chose his words carefully. “I’m not exactly sure what you’ve gone through - what - _she_ did to you…” Soft strands tilted to the side as Yuri attempted to catch Byleth’s gaze. “But...you’re allowed to feel like this, you know. What you’re feeling is what everyone feels. And yes - a lot of us - including me - would agree that it can be more a hindrance than a blessing.” A scoff followed those words, and he shook his head lightly before he continued. “But what we feel - as people - is what makes us human. _You_ are human. Despite what some people may think.” He muttered the last part, and purple eyes rolled, pushing aside the dark thoughts that suddenly flooded his mind. 

It was true that many thought Byleth some sort of god - and hey they weren’t exactly wrong, but Yuri knew, absolutely, that he was human first and foremost. Those thoughts fueled him, and he took a breath before he continued, squeezing Byleth’s hands a bit tighter. “It allows us to make decisions that aren’t deprived of compassion. I want to believe that’s why I’m here. Why I’ve chosen to lead Abyss. I want to help people. And without feelings - without emotion driving that, I wouldn’t be where I am.” 

Byleth was watching him intently, and Yuri barely wanted to acknowledge the small flutter of his heart as he watched as large eyes searched his face.

Such an unfamiliar look of vulnerability…

A smile lifted the corners of his mouth before Yuri continued. “And, you may not think so, but...I know you felt _something_ for your students. Even five years ago, before this -” He lightly gestured towards Byleth’s hair - “happened, the decisions you made weren’t just because it was the most logically sound. You still chose to help your students, even at no benefit to you. You should know that even normal people wouldn’t have done the things you did. So...don’t sell yourself short.” A small pat followed Yuri’s words, a reassuring smile returning to his face. 

Byleth didn’t look entirely convinced, and his brows pinched slightly before his gaze shifted away towards the distant stars. It was obvious he was thinking about what he had said, but there was still something that was preventing him from believing it.

“It’s okay to feel things, friend.” Yuri repeated after a brief pause, watching as Byleth contemplated what he said. “But, how you choose to act on those feelings is what determines what kind of person you are. You said you wanted to hurt someone for what they said, but you didn’t, right?”

A small shake of his head, and the trickster nodded in return. “See?” 

“But I...shouted.” 

Yuri found himself blinking again, eyes wide - trying with every part of him to try and imagine what _that_ would have looked like. 

He... _shouted?_

Is that what the gossip today had been about? He thought for sure they’d been talking about Seteth. 

Sure, he’d heard Byleth raise his voice - on the battlefield - to get someone’s attention - but to shout in _anger?_ It was almost unfathomable. 

Curiosity overflowed as Yuri blurted, “Now I must ask - what happened?” 

A small puff of air escaped between Byleth’s lips, and the professor shook his head before he began. “Nothing that hasn’t happened before…one of my students was assigned to barter with the merchants that we recently received here.” 

Ah. He wasn’t going to name anyone for the sake of anonymity - but Yuri could already guess this was another incident with Dedue. 

“I went with them to lessen the time, but when I had finished, they were still negotiating. I wanted to help, but when I moved closer I began to overhear the conversation…”

The strangest sensation flitted through Yuri’s entire body as he watched Byleth’s eyes darken - it was a mixture of fear, awe, respect and…

Oh boy. Yeah _something else._

A small pause followed, and the air around them almost seemed to chill a degree as a low rumble of words filled the space between them. “No one has a right to say the things they did about him. _No one.”_

It wasn’t difficult to imagine what happened next after hearing that.

Yuri found himself momentarily lost in the thought. Byleth’s brows sharply angled, teeth bared as he unleashed the retained fury within his chest. That voice - so typically monotonous and calm suddenly a volcano of rage. Fists would clench tightly at his side - green eyes nearly glowing in anger as they would watch as the merchant scampered away - hunched and afraid -

Yuri clenched his teeth, shifting to the side and lifting a fist as he cleared his throat in an attempt to quell the heat in his face.

And the heat in another area he’d refrain from admitting.

He was nearly startled out of his movement when a hand pressed against his forehead, and he found himself staring wide-eyed at the man before him. 

The green head was tilted slightly to the side, brows furrowed slightly. “You’re warm.” 

_Yeah, thanks for that._

The chuckle that was supposed to sound so casual ended up coming out almost strangled, and Yuri cleared his throat again before he lightly brushed away the arm. 

Physical contact was probably a bad idea right now. 

“I’m fine - it’s a bit warm out here.” 

Nevermind the fact that it was nearing the end of the year, it was almost a blessing and a curse that Byleth was more open now because yeah it was obvious that wasn’t the most convincing lie he’d ever told and it read on Byleth’s face like a _book._

Ears tinted pink, Yuri coughed again and turned away, trying to chase away the awkwardness with a wave of his hand. 

A laugh disguised as a puff of air followed the motion, and purple eyes squinted in amusement at his own idiocy. A sigh followed, and Yuri straightened himself up and turned to face Byleth squarely. “Ehem - anyway...you don’t need to be ashamed of that, friend.” Byleth’s gaze found his, and he continued resolutely with a gesture of his hand. “You were protecting your student - your friend. There is no need to feel ashamed of standing up for that. That’s an act of courage and compassion. Getting angry - that’s only because you felt protective of someone you care for. Not that you’re out of control.” 

Byleth’s head fell, and a scrunch of his brows followed the concern that suddenly radiated out from him. 

_Out of control._ He hit the nail on the head, didn’t he? 

The gesture was unconscious as Yuri lifted a hand, hooking a finger gently under Byleth’s chin to tilt his head so that his eyes would meet his. “You’re worried about losing control, but allowing yourself to feel freely and stand up for what’s right is what makes you _you.”_

Byleth’s lips parted, but closed again, as if unsure of how to word his next question. “I’m...what if I don’t know how to decide…?” 

Decide. Decide what was right and wrong. Decide what was right to feel freely about - decide how to act - decide when to act - decide how to follow his heart or head - he could almost hear Byleth's thoughts finish in his own head.

A breath escaped through the slim nose as Yuri answered readily. “You don’t need to make every decision by yourself, friend. That’s what we’re here for. What _I’m_ here for.” He stressed the last bit, an earnest expression coating his face. “Don’t forget to depend on us - _on me_ \- too, okay?” Yuri wasn’t exactly sure, but if he didn’t know better he was sure he saw a glimmer of something close to a tear in the twinkle of the green eyes that gazed back at him. “Everyone expects so much from you - but don’t feel like you need to carry this alone. There are those that want to help - that care for you and are ready and willing to give it.” 

The smile that tipped at Byleth’s lips was all the reward Yuri had needed after that spiel, and he watched with a soft expression as a small bit of the tension in those lean shoulders lessened. 

This really had been something he’d been fighting with for a while, then. It pained Yuri a bit in his chest, thinking how much restraint Byleth must have had these last few weeks - how every feeling, emotion threatened to undo his resolve. He must have fought with it every day, but there really was no one he could have spoken to about this...he had to put on a strong act - to encourage those that had a weak resolve. 

How lonely. A loneliness he understood all too well.

Yuri tilted his head, the strangest urge filled him and he tipped his feet up. He could feel Byleth’s entire body stiffen as Yuri clutched his upper arm, and had he less control, he may have landed the kiss in a different place, but alas, soft lips pecked lightly on Byleth’s cheek, and Yuri slowly pulled back. 

No one would have ever described Yuri as shy, but in that moment he felt as though every fiber in his body wanted to shrink away from the intense, wide emerald eyes that stared unblinking back at him. 

_Well, speaking of having no control..._

The leader disguised his embarrassment with a quirk of his lips, nodding slightly. “Just felt like you needed that.” 

Byleth didn’t respond - and for a moment it was if Yuri was taken back five years prior - the stillness - the steady gaze - it was like the past resurfaced as a blankness overtook Byleth’s expression. Yuri shook himself out of it, and patted Byleth’s shoulder once before he let go, looking towards the side as he readied to leave. “Take care of yourself, Byleth. Don’t make me worry about you…” He offered him another small smile before he gently continued. “Get some rest.” 

Yuri could feel the intensity of those glowing eyes on his back as he turned to leave.

That was probably stupid.

No - that was _definitely_ stupid. 

He sure wasn’t expecting that to go in that direction but - soon this would be just a distant memory and he’d have to anticipate the next time they would - 

Before his thoughts could continue, he felt a firm hand grasp his upper arm. The world spun oddly in his vision as he was forcibly turned around - and before he even had a chance to right himself - a soft but firm pressure closed securely around his lips, forcing him to take a step back. 

It was like a whirlwind of thoughts were trying to make sense of what was happening - and wide purple eyes stared unblinking in front of him as the sensation on his lips burned through him. 

It was so soft...but it was secure. A dream - yet so real. Something he’d thought of - anticipated - _dreamt of_...and slowly but surely, Yuri allowed himself to believe that what was happening was true.

He wasn’t sure when he felt his body relax, but it was like his resolve melted into nothing as those lips moved over his. Yuri’s eyes slowly slipped shut as his arms wrapped securely around Byleth’s neck. He felt his body shudder as strong arms snaked around his waist in response, holding him tighter against him as their mouths began to move in unison. 

It was delicate, gentle, as if Byleth was afraid he might hurt him if he indulged himself in a deeper kiss, but Yuri wasn’t afraid of that at all - and pressed him closer, deepening the kiss between them. It became more fervent by the second - and Yuri was only aware he was out of oxygen when Byleth finally pulled back, the two of them panting slightly from the exertion. 

Green eyes were glazed with the most raw desire Yuri had ever seen in that expression, and he felt his body quiver under the intensity. 

“...sorry.” 

Oddly, Byleth’s apology was quite sincere, and Yuri found himself blinking in small confusion as he watched that amorous expression turn into something close to terror. 

“Well, that was some apology.” The trickster stated flatly.

Yuri laughed again as Byleth’s eyes wandered his face, obviously searching for any sign of discontent. “Don’t give me that look - I seem to distinctly recall taking part in that little bout, no?” 

Byleth’s eyes softened, and the green head bowed before it came to rest gently upon Yuri’s shoulder. 

Odd. Yuri was sure that they’d always been about the same height - now he was acutely aware that Byleth was indeed...taller than him. 

“I missed you.” 

The words were mumbled against his shoulder, and the warm feeling of his breath whispering against the thin clothing nearly made Yuri’s knees buckle. He took a breath, wrapping his arms tightly around the man before him, closing his eyes as he finally allowed himself to relax - to believe that Byleth wasn’t just an apparition of his dreams, but he was real and he was there. 

He wanted to blow that statement off - how could he have missed him? He was asleep these last five years - but a feeling of understanding welled up inside him. 

Missed him. He’d missed these last five years. Just gone. He had missed that. And Byleth regretted it. Deeply.

A sharp pang of sadness nearly tore through his chest, and Yuri gripped the clothes on Byleth’s back tighter as took in a shaky breath. 

“I’ve...missed you _so.”_

Yuri felt the arms around his back tighten, the head bury itself further into the crook of his neck and suddenly that tidal wave of emotions he thought he’d carefully tucked away again for this moment came crashing into him, and a wetness pooled at the corner of his eyes as he squeezed them shut. 

Yes...how lonely he’d been indeed. 

But he was here now. New paths to tread for the both of them, but...perhaps...perhaps if they were together, it wouldn’t be so lonely.

That thought built a warmth in Yuri's chest and he sighed contentedly as he rested his head against the security of the other. 

It was a long journey ahead, but the beginning hadn’t started out too poorly after all. 

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  



End file.
